Backpacking Fishing Rod

Fear ...

It is strange to see how one's opinion have a situation may be changing. Changes in time, are gradually and it is not necessarily related to how we are educated, or even the views of people around us facing the same situation. I would say it's visceral, it is implanted in us, that uncertainty, that doubt, that way we have to take three steps forward five steps back. And as the idea may sound pleasant and caressing, as fears about this situation accumulate.

I would not say if this is the age that leads me to think that way, or if my fears are justified by some dark fantasies that I create in my head, but they are there, very present. There are about 10 years that I did not want children, or rather, I did not give birth. I wanted to adopt. I wanted to give chance to a child without parents to love and tenderness, but without engaging in what I thought was the worst thing ever. Pregnancy scared me terribly, but it was the birth that terrified me.

Years passed and I headed over to adulthood, the more the idea of having a child myself, I would have worn, and I was catching up, little by little, the fears that are made less large, although still present, and the idea of giving birth seemed even possible. The years go, I meet my man. A solid relationship of love binding us, we talk, we discuss, we evaluate the possibilities to see what would happen if I became pregnant. By dint of conversations we decided, in time to marry first and to consider forming a family then. I like the idea, I think even very often.

age catches up to me quietly and I fear it sometimes occurs too late in my life, but I dream. I dream about what my children will look like. I give them names already and I imagine IT LOOKS LIKE, my spouse and me, a mix of DNA and traits, as nature knows so well. I know what values will motivate the education I want to give them, and I also know that those of my man coincide with mine.

But I'm afraid. I am petrified. What scares me now more than anything, this is not the same pregnancy or childbirth (though the fears are still there), but rather the visceral fear of not being a good mother. While I am confident that the education I had, even if I trust the love that I can give them, the fear takes hold of each parcel of my being and I tremble at the thought of doing wrong. I was told recently that if I did not feel ready yet, I had to wait. And that's what I'm already doing for so long. But I'm afraid I'll never be ready. I'm afraid I'll never live up to the expectations of society towards mothers, future and present, or even my own expectations.

Adults Breastfeeding Husbands

was May 23, 2003

all started at the end of my second year of college. It was fine, but the wind was cool, even cold at times. I had a final examination session in the morning and from 14:00 to 2h00am, was held on RockFest, which as its name suggests, was a rock festival where several bands of this kind are produced for our pleasure! It was May 23, 2003.

I will not tell you that, that evening, he had lent his cloak to the friend of his sister. I will not tell you he was shivering on the bench of the picnic table near the stream. I will not tell you the efforts I made to try to warm it by rubbing his back and covering it with my blanket. I will not tell you the subtle finger play that I had done on his hand. I need not describe the happiness I felt when he put his arm around my shoulders and, in his turn, he played Game fingers with my hand. It was pitch black, although some lighting installed everywhere. I was cold and hot all at once. The world had ceased to exist. I was. Simply. When the evening had been finished, my hand in hers, I called a taxi. Then, her hand in mine, he called his mother. In the meantime, our two hands clasped in one another, we were walking on the bridge that separates the island from dream to reality. I remember. I gave him my Hotmail email address, and as we had neither pen nor paper in the taxi that carried me, I hoped heartily he would remember! I did not sleep much that night! I remember I got up very early, I went to the computer and I logged on MSN Messenger. It only lasted a few minutes. Few minutes that I was alone in the world, I was only online. Then, suddenly, a window appeared. An application to add the contact list. She had a certain Computer_Man. It would be impossible to describe in words what state of mind was when I accepted the request. The world had resumed its mad course, but this time on the road paved with thorns and brambles that I had crossed so far, a sunburst of infinite purity came to me to caress the cheek.


Later, there were lots of clouds and even thunderstorms in my life. I can never thank him enough for being that light, this warmth that I need so much in the past, which I still need so many times! I love you!

Registering A Homemede Trailer

gifts?! Pour Moi?! Y'knoow!

And yes, I received lots of gifts for 2 days!

Yesterday was my birthday gift simply happened four months after my birth date (chance would have it!): A case for laptop hard disk, a Vantec USB 2.0 to NexStar3 d a pretty color "Brilliant Red" (me, I see again and again burnt orange)!



Here is the "beast" plugged in my laptop!



Not only that, but this morning I received my order from Club Direct Laine containing wool Bergere de France I ordered! They were really effective this time around there (I could not be said for certain other companies! * Cough cough *)! I sent my order through the mail on Friday afternoon, they treated Monday in the day and I received it this morning! WOW service is really like anyway!



box therefore contained, in addition to the invoice, 7 balls Harlequin Plain color, the book and the explanation booklet with all samples of wool! Wool, all the pages! And we see the colors so much better like that (thank you not tell me that's the goal, I know that, but it's really cool as a concept!)



And I I was able to offer me through this little gift voucher Bergere de France I had won in the contest Melusine which took place in fall 2009! ( You click the link if you do not remember what I wrote for my application! )

Finally, to my pleasure (and, thanks to Melcouettes ), I discovered the site of which appeared Ysolda the most adorable little owls knitted ! I did neither one nor two, and I knitted one in the same week ... and modified slightly (I gave him embroidered wings on the advice of my friend @ CDesaulniers (incidentally, check out his blog if you like games consoles, and other news ordis technology!))! Quite happy with the result, I wanted to make a 2nd, but this time, a little larger (the first was done on 4 mm needles; realized that tonight was made of wool double on 6 mm ). It is almost finished, lacking only the eyes (even its beak is already embroidered)! Once it is finished I'll show you the final version!

So here, left, one at 4 mm, and right, double the wool over 6 mm!

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Knit and Crochet Blog Week - Day 7



But what thread!

A strand delay (I should post it yesterday, gomen nasai !), here is the last article concluded that this week Knitting and Crochet Blogs on !

I think if you had not guessed, I have no choice but to reveal myself ... I love the balls of Bernat! Parcontre, I can not tell you whether I prefer or and I love them both!

I enjoyed knitting the scarf mother and the doll Sara Binnett in Satin and is so sweet, all cuddly! I also enjoyed working the Handicrafter Cotton for my kitten, my pumpkin my towel, my challenge yellow and secret project rainbow sky currently holding my hands, I like the fact that either both fresh and has the body, it stands well! I can not decide, between the two, I enjoy!

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Knit and Crochet Blog Week - Day 6



Revisit an old project ended

Here we are on day 6 of this week Knitting and Crochet the Blogs! I'll tell you about my Lara Lamb Shawl I finished in August 2009. A beautiful project! An extensive project to achieve, especially since I had started with the tip! You know what? After 6 months of work on this shawl, I did never worn! And yes, as unlikely as it may seem, I knitted the whole time and when I had finished, I folded and put away to forget about it! And he is still in that same state more than 8 months later! I think having worked on it for so long has caused my subconscious to say "I've seen enough, I do not want to see him before long! The worst part of all this is that I do not even feel the need to wear it. Maybe it will come one day!